Satisfied Buddhist - Domo Geshe Rinpoche

The concept of refuge in Eastern culture and spirituality directly conflicts with an ingrained Western concept of supremacy of the individuality. It means that many who wish to experience authentic Buddhism will have a crucial issue even before beginning serious practice. Perhaps it is more valuable to discuss that, rather than how wonderful refuge is, as though I was trying to sell you a used car. There are problems arising from an excessive sense of individuality. Have you ever observed the dynamics between parents and their babies of perhaps only four to five months in a store? The parents often expect even a three month old to learn how to make choices. For example, holding two teddy bears, they might say, “Which one do you like sweetie, this one, or that one? Do you want a red one or a blue one? Which one would make you more happy?” Showing this one and that one, the child must make their own choice. In one way, this is very much indicative of your cult...

FREE podcast: Listen online or download 1.5 hrs. This was the beginning of a series of teachings on refuge, specially focused to the needs of western dharma students. "Refuge & Western Individuality" - In the west, giving choices is believed to be respectful. Even infants are expected to make choices long before they are ready. This leads to a too-early sense of individuality and separation from others, rather than the safety that children need to learn in order to develop trust. Individuality should not be encouraged until the onset of puberty. As adults, this hyper-individuality has led many to feel uncertain, distrusting of others, and lonely. This sense of separation can be healed through the safety of refuge offered by the Buddha. http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/domo-geshe-rinpoche-teachings/id387058479

The very first aspect of refuge is a realization that we do not feel as safe as we could or should be. Oriental Buddhism has very careful explanations of how refuge in the Buddha is actually safer than our own loving family. The deep sense of security we experience in a close nurturing family is still not as reliable as the safety of relying on the Buddha, the awakened one. Without that nurturing family experience, which brings inner comfort and confidence, it is difficult to experience true trust. I feel great concern for those who have damaged or incomplete trust system (the latter which is addressed here). This could be a reason that an intellectual view of Buddhism is valued by some over an experiential one. Western culture demands that we become separated from the important learning we gain from the net of safety we should experience in family life while only gradually be allowed to make individual choices. This zone of safety we needed while growing up is almost antithetical to t...

"A basic feature of the innate view, a kind of hypnotic programming, causes us to believe that we are distinct from others and is either a problem or a good thing. It gives rise to a sense of individuality, which does not exist in higher functioning ways of being. Unless there is mental dysfunction, it is not possible to believe that while eating, we do not know whether we are putting the food in our own mouth or in the mouth of the person next to us, isn't that so? A healthy person knows they have a body and a mind separate from others. Well, not always, because sometimes people can understand unspoken intentions, so mental functions are a little leaky to hold complete privacy. However, regarding bodies and our mind-body, we are not so leaky. We understand very well about "me" and "other." The problem is overcoming basic selfishness, which runs like a dye through white cloth, coloring our thinking regarding who is the most important person in this world. M...