Satisfied Buddhist - Domo Geshe Rinpoche

What is Buddhism? An eponymous product! From a position 2600 years distant, we have a view of Buddha Shakyamuni as the fully enlightened world teacher, as well as the story of the life of the historical Buddha-to-be that had trust issues with his own father. We have read about his dramatic change of mind to become a forest hermit, and can see that those decisions were based upon a breaking of trust between the future Buddha and his father. However, instead of feeling damaged by understanding that his father had lied to him, trying to control him to his own wishes, he escaped to find out what is truly real. Even if you never had trust issues, think about your own dear family, how well you were cared for, and held close so that, to whatever degree, you felt safe. Now, imagine what it was like for the Buddha, who was also held securely. The Buddha felt that there was another way of being even more secure than the safety offered in family life; that is what he ran away to...

The very first aspect of refuge is a realization that we do not feel as safe as we could or should be. Oriental Buddhism has very careful explanations of how refuge in the Buddha is actually safer than our own loving family. The deep sense of security we experience in a close nurturing family is still not as reliable as the safety of relying on the Buddha, the awakened one. Without that nurturing family experience, which brings inner comfort and confidence, it is difficult to experience true trust. I feel great concern for those who have damaged or incomplete trust system (the latter which is addressed here). This could be a reason that an intellectual view of Buddhism is valued by some over an experiential one. Western culture demands that we become separated from the important learning we gain from the net of safety we should experience in family life while only gradually be allowed to make individual choices. This zone of safety we needed while growing up is almost antithetical to t...

The very first aspect of Buddhist refuge acknowledges that we do not feel as safe as we could or should. Many people do not feel safe because modern culture discouraged their parents from taking the responsibility of holding them, as a child, in a net of safety by making most decisions for them. This safety net shoul d only gradually loosen, allowing young people to make their own choices as they become capable, while the young person continues to feel cared for by relying on their own capacity for trust in their parents. This emergence into decision-making and the resulting adult is balanced and comfortable, but this process is almost antithetical to the inorganic pride gained by pressuring children into the separation of individuality too young. Therefore, Buddhists, or those interested in Buddhism, are left with a dilemma of how to trust the Buddha from a shaky and underdeveloped trust system. ~Domo Geshe Rinpoche ~~~ ""Der allererst...