Establishing Boundaries, Unactivated Choices and other Buddhist musings...

To find happiness, we will need to have a better sense of balance in our relationships with family and friends, but we also will need more understanding of what is balance itself so that we can make good decisions. Therefore, we approach the delicate subject of establishing boundaries fearlessly and with bodhichitta motivation. When others are blaming, shaming, or we feel grasping coming up in ourselves, when we want to get into a fight, let’s remember the promise we made of holding bodhichitta, the spiritual altruistic mind.
May I suggest that instead of having confrontations with dear ones, relax and confrontation will be like a fist into a pillow; it doesn’t hurt the pillow. Otherwise, it is easy to crack like glass, and feel broken and disappointed; a pillow never feels disappointment. Balance is self-respect and understanding, but when controversy becomes intolerable, be like a pillow. Then we always feel relaxed.
Until complete enlightenment, practice being very soft and gentle. This pillow-like softness will cushion you against aggression from others while protecting others from our own “hair trigger” temper. It is an important aspect of loving-kindness. Others will perceive you as peaceful, gentle, and wise, qualities in you that you might not even acknowledge in yourself. You may even think, ‘I certainly don’t have peace or wisdom, but people seem so happy to see me coming…. my practice of gentleness must be what they feel.’ ~ Domo Geshe Rinpoche ~~~~

“Um das Glück zu finden benötigen wir einen besseren Sinn für Ausgeglichenheit in unseren Beziehungen mit Familie und Freunden, aber auch ein besseres Verständnis davon, was Ausgeglichenheit eigentlich ist, so dass wir gute Entscheidungen fällen können. Deshalb müssen wir das delikate Thema des Grenzensetzens furchtlos und mit Bodhichittamotivation angehen. Wenn andere uns anschuldigen und bloßstellen, oder wir Anhaftung in uns selbst aufsteigen fühlen, wenn uns nach Kämpfen zumute ist sollten wir uns an unser Versprechen erinnern, das Bodhichitta aufrecht zu erhalten, die spirituelle, altruistische Geisteshaltung.
Ich würde vorschlagen, dass du dich, anstatt Konfrontationen mit anderen zu haben, entspannst und dann wird die Konfrontation wie ein Faustschlag in ein Kissen ausfallen; der tut dem Kissen nicht weh. Ansonsten bekommt man leicht Sprünge so wie Glas und fühlt sich zerbrochen und enttäuscht; ein Kissen fühlt sich niemals enttäuscht. Ausgeglichenheit ist Selbstrespekt und Verständnis, aber wenn die Kontroverse unerträglich wird, solltest du wie ein Kissen sein. Dann fühlst du dich immer entspannt.
Übe dich darin sehr weich und sanft zu sein bis du die Erleuchtung erreichst. Diese kissenhafte Weichheit wird dich gegen Aggressionen von anderen polstern, während sie andere vor deiner eigenen angespannten Stimmung schützt. Sie ist ein wichtiger Aspekt der liebenden Güte. Andere werden dich als friedlich, sanft und weise wahrnehmen, wobei du diese Qualitäten vielleicht nicht einmal in dir selbst erkennst. Vielleicht denkst du sogar: ‚Ich besitze ganz sicher keinen Frieden und keine Weisheit, aber die Leute scheinen so froh, mich zu sehen.... sie spüren wohl meine Praxis des Sanftmuts.‘„ – Domo Geshe Rinpoche ---

In my just before life, I used to listen to people’s accents with interest. In my mind I could mimic them perfectly, but my lips were not able to reproduce it. When I arrived in this new life, I could remember how and do a Westchester accent perfectly. Now I can’t recall it so easily. “Rinpoche, the ladies and I would like to gather together to have a little group that meditates regularly. Would you be so kind as to bless our group’s activities?” Westchester, New York has a distinctive way of wording things. Hee hee. ~ DGR ~~~ (Photo is from about 2001) ~~~~

"In meinem vorigen Leben hörte ich mir mit Interesse die Akzente der Leute an. Im Geiste konnte ich sie perfekt nachahmen, aber meine Lippen waren unfähig, dies zu wiederholen. Als ich in diesem neuen Leben ankam, konnte ich mich daran erinnern, wie es geht, und einen perfekten Westchester Akzent hervorbringen. Jetzt kann ich mich nicht mehr so gut daran erinnern. 'Rinpoche, die Damen und ich würden uns gerne zusammen versammeln, um eine kleine Gruppe zu haben, die regelmäßig meditiert. Würden sie bitte die Freundlichkeit haben, die Aktivitäten unserer Gruppe zu segnen?' Westchester, New York, hat eine eigene Art die Dinge auszudrücken. Hi hi." - DGR --- (das Foto ist von ca. 2001)

If you cannot find any peace, may peace find you ~~

"Wenn du keinen Frieden finden kannst, möge der Frieden dich finden" - DGR ---

We hold many unactivated potential life directions within our inner karmic environment that were created from unfulfilled karmas since beginningless time up to the just previous moment. If we see our present human body and mind as a container for our present karmic situation and activation of karma by deliberate choices, what kind is it? Is it an old battered tin cup with a hole in it, or a magnificent jeweled cup to contain our life force and spiritual actions? Which choices are best for a spiritual life? ~ Domo Geshe Rinpoche ~~~

"Welche ideale Lebenssituation wirkt unterst ützend auf eine sich spirituell entwickelnde Person? Unser karmisches Umfeld enthält viele nicht aktivierte potentielle Lebensrichtungen, die aus noch nicht erfülltem Karma aus anfangloser Zeit bis zum gerade gewesenen Moment geschaffen sind. Wenn wir unseren gegenwärtigen menschlichen Körper und Geist als Gefäss sehen, was für eine Art Gefäss ist das dann? Ist es eine alte zerdellte Blechtasse mit einem Loch oder eine prächtige mit Juwelen verzierte Schale, in der unsere Lebenskraft und spirituellen Handlungen enthalten sind?" -Domo Geshe Rinpoche ---


Quickly moving clouds bring waves of light .... rolling toward me over the sea of green fields.

What is a fully enlightened being?
Student: Someone who understands and has control of their mind.
Rinpoche: Their human mind?
Student: Yes.
Rinpoche: That's not the description of a Buddha, a fully enlightened being. But in a way, that's true. Were you doing a nice supposition?
Student: Now I change my mind, and say 'that doesn’t sound right.'
Rinpoche: Because the Buddhas have many experience including activities and life processes in other places?
Student: I say other realms, but as something I have absolutely no idea about.
Rinpoche: All right. Who else? What is a fully enlightened being? What do you understand or feel is right?
Student: Purity or a pure nature.
Rinpoche: Very good, this is very good thinking because you don't have to describe what that pure nature is, you can point and say, 'I don't know what it is, but I know it's pure.' This is something that human beings can do from their point of view without having to know the individual characteristics.
Student: Following that, I would think a diamond mind, but I don't know what that means (laughing).
Rinpoche: You don't know what it mean, but this is a classic description of Buddha nature. Adamantine, nothing can break diamond. Diamond is most clarity, most valuable. The diamond is a metaphor for the nature of enlightened being. Some good thinking going on. Like lovely songs.
Student: It's like a being whose way of being, the way they're alive in the moment is in harmony with the reality of energy.
Rinpoche: Did you understand what he was saying? Their life process resonates or harmonizes with the nature of reality, so their life process and the nature of reality are not discordant. Is that what you said?
Student: I was cheating a little bit because I know another term for Buddha is bhagavan, and I read the literal breakdown of that term.
Rinpoche: Okay, we had a little book learning there, but you also felt something. Yes? A Buddha is perfected. A Buddha is perfect refuge. A Buddha, a fully enlightened being, is a savior of all living beings.. Remember what the bodhisattvas want? To save all sentient beings. Well, who actually does it? The Buddhas. The bodhisattvas are training and doing what they can, but it only comes to fruition in the Buddhas.
Student: Rinpoche? I have noticed two definitions of a bodhisattva. A bodhisattva can also be considered an active form of a Buddha.
Rinpoche: Yes, like that, you get ahead of us. You steal my thunder here (laughing, laughter).
Student: Controlled rebirth.
Rinpoche: You are talking bodhisattvas. All enlightened beings are capable of controlled rebirth. A fully enlightened being is beyond all dualities. A fully enlightened being is accomplishing the work and capable of doing it so the bodhisattvas gain experience to do what the Buddhas can already do. A fully enlightened being has passed beyond all states of sorrow. A fully enlightened Buddha is alive in the ultimate state, and teacher of the bodhisattvas. Even if you don't understand their nature or why the Buddhas are the way they are, your perception is looking toward nature of reality.
Is Buddha a deity? What do you think?
Student: I think, well I sense that it is more of a presence that carries a consciousness that emanates things.
Rinpoche: So you are saying that the Buddha is a deity?
Student: That seems too limiting.
Rinpoche: You think deity is limiting?
Student: I think Buddha is really big.
Rinpoche: Big, okay. Does the Buddha have a personality?
Student: No, it has presence.
Rinpoche: All right, so we have one person who says that Buddha has presence. If you are thinking carefully, which you are not, then I accept your answer. Do you understand?
Student: Well, that's what I think ....so…
Rinpoche: I said that if you are thinking carefully, meaning depth and reaching down and then answering, then I accept whatever you said.
Student: That's where I came from.
Rinpoche: But, you were not (laughing). That's why we are learning.
Student: What comes to mind is.... and this also feels wrong (laughing)..... that we can't know what it is.
Rinpoche: That's correct. I like your not knowing. Your not knowing has been right two times so far.
Student: It comes from my depth, but it's doesn't….it doesn't go up here.
Rinpoche: Good. Very good. Very good.
Student: I mean, how can we possibly know?
Rinpoche: In a way, but then you went too far, and you disrespected yourself. You were okay when you said it the first time. When you said it the second time, you disrespected yourself, and that's no good.
Student: Buddhas do not have a personality because personality arises from conditions and conditioning.
Rinpoche: Personality arises from conditions, so the Buddha… I am not going to say whether that's right or wrong because we want others to express themselves, but we have one vote that says the Buddha does not have personality because personality arises from conditions' existence. That is not so complicated, is it? I want you to know that these are some of the most serious topics of Buddhism.
Excerpt from You and your Relationship to the Buddhas

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